Baby's Butts and Women's Faces: A Detailed How to...

you've probably never heard that you have to take care of a woman's skin precisely the same way you take care of a baby's butt
Courtesy of Ask J. - the JBNI Team of Scientists and Physicians: Soft as a baby's butt. You've all heard this expression. However (intentionally avoided using, "but"), you've probably never heard that you have to take care of a woman's skin precisely the same way you take care of a baby's butt. Oh, where to begin.
Women start out as as adorable babies so lets all start there together. Babies poop. Moms tend to just use water when washing their babies butts. Dads tend to use soap. Both are bad. Both are worse if your baby is a girl.
If you wash a baby's butt with water, no matter how huggably clean you get that baby's but, you've still left millions (places pinky finger at corner of mouth) of e coli bacteria throwing a Burning Man on your baby's butt. If you wash with soap, you don't. So you may think the man's way is superior. But (DOH!), what you've done is stripped your baby of bacteria and her protective butt oils.

"So?" you say?
"So?" you say?
What? You don't expect your baby to ever poop again?! Your poor cute baby is going to have the worst diaper rash the next time because all the acid in the poop and the e coli will pass through the defenseless baby butt pores! (SHEESH. MEN!)
For baby girls, it's even worse. E coli, countless other bacteria, and digestive gastric acid all attack their defenseless internal tissues if you wash them with soap. If you just use water, repeat above sentance but just without the gastric acid part.
don't be that guy
What about lotion or baby powder? The JBNI Team has already thought of that. Baby powder dries out the skin and Lotion clogs their pores giving them a diaper rash again. "So what! We all get diaper rash," a man yells out from the mezzanine.
An usher approaches and informs him and speaks to him on his terms, "Sir, if your baby has a diaper rash, you will not be able to sleep. At all."
So now, I think we all see how this applies to women's facial skin, dryness, acne, and wrinkles (except that guy - don't be that guy).

If you women wash with gentle soaps, you are killing most of the bacteria that can cause breakouts. But you are also stripping your radiant and delicate facial chemistry of it's protective oils. If you use moisturizer, you'll just clog pores.
How to solve the Baby's Butt and Woman's Face Dilemma
This explains why JBNI sells one bar of soap that costs $34. That's right. It costs $34 for one single bar of Immortals' Soap. The following are fun facts about how Immortal's Soap solves all of the above problems. If you don't want to know about it, you can just stop reading here and try to find a soap that does all the things that you're not going to continue reading. o_O
This bar of soap is and has been used by ancient eastern civilizations down to this day. If not for the reasons above, Immortal's Soap wouldn't even be made available to the public. Immortals' Soap is so strong, it kills 100% of all the bacteria on your face and on your baby's butt. Even acid, anti-bacterial sprays and gells leave 0.02% of billions of bacteria (this equals 100s of 1,000s).
On the other hand (hah! figured out how to avoid saying, "however and but"), This ancient soap is 100% gentle. It's made with only edible ingredients including medicine grade herbs that do the cleansing. Yes. You can eat this bar of soap. If you wanted to wash your gold fish, you can take a couple bars of Immortal's Soap and drop it in their bowl. The goldfish will squeak.
you'd have turned your face into a petri dish for cultivating ebola
Oh, one last thing... So what's so bad about that last 0.02% of the bacteria? Any geneticist can tell you (JBNI is packed full of those PhDs). The remaining bacteria are the mutated bacteriacide resistant ones. If you repeated this cycle enough times, you'd have turned your face into a petri dish for cultivating ebola.
PS. Do you know why you're not supposed to use tissue on your face? It's the same reason why your nose gets red and burnt if you keep blowing your flu season nose on even the softest tissue. It's also the same reason your optometrist tells you not to use tissue to clean your glasses. Tissue unlike cotton, is made from wood fiber. It is abrasive. Tiny tree splinters splinter off into your face. You're basically micro sanding your face off. If you use a wet-moistened tissue, you are wet-sanding.
Continued: Mind Body Health Myths You Still Believe...







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